6 comments on “Idiosyncratica Monthly Challenge — “Lost.”

  1. Hmmmm… It’s an interesting piece. I think the central ideas are good: that experience is wholly subjective, that middle class morality is sorely lacking and that there is often an unbridgeable gap between the POVs of people who otherwise ostensibly share a common culture or viewpoint are clear from the narrative.

    That being said, I think it might benefit from a slight polish; the flow is not quite as lucid as your other stuff.

    A good piece, nonetheless.

  2. Gary, this is very good! I was a little confused at the beginning, probably because of Sleep’s cryptic speech. But you brought it together quickly and everything started to click.

    I actually felt my heart start to beat a little faster when they were in the car park. I got goose bumps and a lump in my throat at the end.

    I like it a lot!

  3. Mike: yes, you’ve pretty much echoed my own problem with it; it was rather last-minute and rushed, and it definitely shows. I didn’t really allow myself enough time to set it to one side for a week or so and then return to it. Still, it isn’t really the final product. I like it enough to want to do a bit more with it and probably will.

    Lottie: that’s good to hear, Lottie! Thank you. I do think it can be improved, as Mike pointed out… that’ll probably fix the confusion at the beginning, too!

    I’m kind of glad that I posted it as it is, though — i.e. not quite how it should be. It shows those among us who are just starting out as writers that it doesn’t just all come together immediately. There’s a process, and the final product can sometimes obscure that.

  4. I actually didn’t find it too confusing, but then again I worked with what we call “inner-city” youths in New York City. This is the sort of piece that slowly comes together as your read it. Sleep is an amazing character. I would love to read about him some more.

  5. Baba: thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it, mate.

    Gessy: it’s funny you should say that, but I actually want to write more about Sleep. It’s not really typical of my usual work, and Sleep proved something of a challenge — so much so that I’d like to understand him a bit more, visit his world for a little longer.

    Youth work in inner-city New York? That must have been a fascinating and demanding experience.

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