Further to my last post, these jokes — forwarded to me by my friend, Jean (thanks Jean!) — really hit the mark.
The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly Neologism Contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulance (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question in an exam.
12. Rectitude (n..), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Ha ha great post. My favorites are:
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there
Funny
I think my favourites would have to be:
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question in an exam.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
Thanx, so much. For those new words worth learning by L2 learner of English like me 🙂
LOL. I hope they haven’t damaged your understanding of English too much, my friend! 🙂