I thought I was dead. No, really. Woken from a deep slumber — the bed shook like someone really quite hefty was having too much fun beside me, the floorboards creaked and groaned, the wardrobes rattled and I thought, Hmm, this isn’t what usually happens. [Translation: What the fuck…?!] Still half asleep, I thought someone was in my room — or that the local chemical plant had blown itself to smithereens. But no, it was only an earthquake.
So I went back to sleep.