An Open Letter to the Director General of the BBC.

Dear Mr Thompson,

It has come to my attention that you may very shortly be on the lookout for one or two new television/radio presenters.

Without wishing to be mercenary, I would just like to inform you that I am available.

Yours sincerely,

Gary — who is very talented and far better looking than Brand or Wossy. (I know because me mam said so.)

© 2008 Gary William Murning

Another BBC Scandal?

It came to light today that the granddaughter of an unnamed actress has called for Sir Terry Wogan — radio and television presenter extraordinaire — to be sacked after he allegedly whispered to her at a party that he had once very lovingly brushed against her grandmother on the London Underground.

Only kidding

Further to my last post, this is now getting very disproportionate. Given the state of the global economy etc at the moment, was this story deserving of the prominence it received? I think not.

© 2008 Gary William Murning

“Meet My Granddaughter, Voluptua.”

I’m sure most of us are already familiar with the recent BBC “Manuel offence” incident during which the (and I use the term loosely) comedian Russell Brand and TV/radio presenter Jonathan Ross made a number of quite obscene telephone calls (on air) to the voicemail of actor Andrew Sachs (78). I don’t want to go into the full details here — largely because they are widely available already — but the gist of the story hinged on the two telling Mr Sachs that Brand had had sexual relations with his, Mr Sachs’s, granddaughter, Georgina Baillie.

I’m always cautious when it comes to condemning people who cause offence. I have many grave concerns about the road down which we are travelling with regard this — a road that sees the right to say something controversial being quite possibly slowly eroded. I wrote about it in more detail in this piece, where I said

“Personally, I’ve never really been someone to deliberately go out of my way to offend. Except in exceptional circumstances. But increasingly I find myself appalled by the cultural mass-mindset I see around me. Everyone is perpetually afraid, it seems, to offend. Words that were once acceptable now no longer are, everyone is a minority in need of protecting, of cosseting, of being kept happy and free from unnecessary stress. You can’t say that, but you can say this — unless such and such a person is present, then it might be construed to mean something quite different, in which case, say this instead, making sure that you smile at the same time so that it can’t be misinterpreted as unnecessarily sarcastic or ironic. Whether you’re gay, black, Asian, disabled — or just a plain old vanilla Caucasian with everything in working order — you can guarantee that at some time someone will perform a nifty little verbal Riverdance routine in order to avoid causing offence. And, without wishing to offend (!), it is a complete load of fucking bollocks.”

I then went on to say, however, that with this assertion and freedom naturally comes responsibility — and I truly believe that whilst the boundaries should be pushed there are very clear lines that it’s quite foolish to cross.

So did Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross overstep the mark? Did they show a lack of responsibility? In the name of comedy, on a radio show, is it acceptable to telephone a man in his 70s and effectively taunt him regarding the sexual pursuits (or not) of his granddaughter?

Questions that we don’t really need to ask. Involving Mr Sachs in this conversation in this way was wholly unwarranted, juvenile, unfunny — and quite possibly illegal. The BBC’s broadcasting code makes it quite clear that broadcasters “must ensure that material which may cause offence is justified by the context”. In this case it seems to me that all concerned failed to do this; the context didn’t justify it. It was cruel.

To qualify this ever so slightly, however,  I will say that I find the prospect of the public/professional life of Georgina Baillie being used as comedy material perfectly acceptable (as long as it is within the law, naturally.) And it is public knowledge that she is a swinger. Had similar comments been made without Mr Sachs’s involvement, I might not have found it quite so unacceptable — though this in no way justifies the above behaviour of Ross and Brand and I very much doubt it would have been something that I would have found especially amusing.

A model/actress, Georgina‘s stage name is “Voluptua” and she performs with a theatrical group called Satanic Sluts. A “cheerleader massacre, voodoo sacrifice, vampire brutality and much much more”.

[WARNING: sexually suggestive content.]

And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Good luck to her. But just be careful what you say, Georgina. Claiming that your European tour was cut short because of the “public humiliation” arising from this incident might not ring true to some people — not when you say on your MySpace page “I like to party, I don’t care if you call me a ‘waster’ or even a ‘groupie’ because I am having more fun than you and living this way makes me happy.”

© 2008 Gary William Murning

Bodyguard Apologises to Rushdie.

And quite right too!

“The statements admitted to be false included:

• That Sir Salman was locked in a room by protection officers because of his objectionable attitude towards them.
• That protection officers who asked Sir Salman if they could buy alcohol from him were charged for the drinks.
• That Sir Salman sought to profit from the fatwa inviting Muslims to kill him for insulting the prophet Muhammad.
• That he sought and was advised by the Intelligence Services not to publish a book about his experiences.
• That safe houses were provided for Sir Salman at government expense, rather than having to provide them himself at great personal expense.
• That the relationship between Sir Salman and his protection teams was unprofessional, hostile and unfriendly.
• That Sir Salman was unhygienic and suicidal and was being supervised or examined by a police psychiatrist.
• That Elizabeth West became his girlfriend and then his wife because of Sir Salman’s wealth.”

So, basically, there probably isn’t all that much of the book left to buy. I certainly won’t be spending any money on it,  that’s for sure.

© 2008 Gary William Murning

Salman Says… MySpace May Change the World!

I’ve never had all that much time for the writing of Salman Rushdie. I read The Satanic Verses before all the fuss kicked off (I think, if memory serves me well, I was halfway through it when they started burning it in the streets), I tried Midnight’s Children and gave up and I’ve never been inclined to go back and try again — though I think I should and probably will, eventually. Nevertheless, I have always respected him as a man and a writer, simply because he has endured with a certain degree of dignity and always succeeded in maintaining the moral and intellectual high ground.

I was therefore very interested to read this article in which, as well as speaking of the possibility of his writing a book about his “fatwa” experience, he also discusses the changing world we are living in and how he doesn’t believe that the events that happened to him eighteen years ago would happen today.

He then went on to talk about the importance of the Internet as a way of bridging the gaps between certain cultures.

“The more aspects of Western culture people become aware of, in whatever tyrannical country – whether it’s China or Iran – people want it.

“It may well be that what we think of as trivial and banal stuff like YouTube and MySpace, this may change the world.

“The internet is showing people what life can be like. And when people who live in repressive countries see that, it makes them want it.”

Bravo, Mr Rushdie! So many people still fail to get this very simple lesson. Yes, there’s a lot of material on the Internet that is fundamentally nasty — but its very nature, not quite egalitarian but getting there, slowly, provides many, many people with opportunities that they otherwise wouldn’t have. Opportunities to work in new ways, opportunities to communicate with people they would never otherwise have met, opportunities to aspire to things previously undreamt of. The Internet is not the realisation of some cockeyed Utopian dream, but it does have some very positive aspects that are all too easily overlooked.

I would imagine that Rushdie would agree that his nine years in hiding would have been far less bearable without it.