If I Never — Free Sample Chapter.
July 2, 2009
Over recent weeks, a number of people have been asking me if samples of If I Never would be available online. After discussing it with my publisher, we’ve decided to — given all the support and encouragement I’ve been getting from my online friends and followers — make the first chapter available here.
This is the unedited manuscript version (a little more than will be in the book itself), so I suppose it could be considered something of a collector’s item 
Please feel free to download it and forward it to any friends you think may find it of interest.
I hope you enjoy it.
Read the free sample chapter of If I Never by clicking here.
A Pain in the…
January 13, 2009
I’m not quite up to proper blogging, yet (getting there, though), but something a friend said on Twitter reminded me (by a slightly circuitous route) of this — and I just had to share.
All text © 2009 Gary William Murning
The Truth About Santa.
December 2, 2008
Now, please read this very, very carefully. The following video contains possibly highly offensive material. It isn’t work safe, I wouldn’t recommend you let the kids look at/listen to it, if you don’t like bad language, it’s definitely a no-no and, well, just be warned.
The things Santa and those bloody reindeer get up to…
And Now for Something Completely Different…
November 13, 2008
Following on from the brawling monks video of a few days ago, a Monty Python clip that I’m fairly sure all of you will be very familiar with. It’s still one of my favourites — makes me laugh every time.
Clothes Maketh the Candidate.
October 26, 2008
Whilst amusing myself by watching this “explanation” by Sarah Palin of the $150,000 wardrobe issue (I’m tempted to say at this point that maybe she should have gone to IKEA, but that really isn’t very funny, now is it?), I found myself scratching my head. Admittedly, I don’t know a great deal about how the RNC allocates its funds, but when she says…
“[...] they are not my property [...]“
… is that really the point? The fact of the matter is, the money was spent by the RNC — probably in an attempt to make this proud hockey mom look less of a hockey mom, or maybe to wreck the Saturday Night Live budget — to improve her image. Okay, if it had all gone according to plan, they all would have benefited, but the bottom line is, she got to dress up and she loved every minute of it.
$150,000. And to think they could have improved her image at no cost whatsoever, and to greater effect… by simply telling her to keep her bloody mouth shut.
Sheesh. These guys could really do with a thrifty Yorkshireman on their team. If anyone from the RNC is reading this and wishes me to share my expertise with them, by all means email me. It goes against the grain, politically, of course, but… let’s call it $150,000 — I’m anyone’s for $150,000.
The Mind of a Writer.
October 25, 2008
I found the following frighteningly realistic account here, and I have to admit it made me smile:
A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.
“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is…”
“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” The man says. “My agent called?”
As a novelist rather than a screenwriter, my reaction would have been very different; my first thought would have been, Is there enough material for two novels here?
Till Death Us Do Part.
October 22, 2008
At a loss for something to blog about today, I thought, instead of simply rambling on about absolutely nothing, I would instead share with you one of my favourite British comedy classics. (It was this clip or the “Jesus was English” clip — but I thought I’d save that one for Christmas! )
Alf Garnett’s going to Bournemouth…
