Okay. It’s official. I’m nervous. I’m excited, too, of course — not to mention grateful and pretty optimistic. But most of all I’m nervous.
Tomorrow, in case you’re one of the few people who don’t know, will see the launch of my debut novel If I Never. It’s been a long, long road (with many a winding turn… sorry), but finally the day is here. A time for celebration, indeed, but also, it seems, a time for unexpected nerves!
I keep flashing on the backstage footage of one of those Elvis concerts from the 70s. The man himself explaining in voice-over how he feels — saying that someone could come up to him and tell him that his head’s just exploded and he wouldn’t know, that’s how focused and anxious he is. And I can empathise. All that work, all that preparation is now heading out to hundreds of shops around the country — reaching, potentially, thousands of people… tens of thousands, given time… dare I even think hundreds of thousands? And it’s all out of my hands, now. Nothing can be changed. Nothing can be taken back. It lives or dies on the reception it receives, always assuming it receives any at all!
And today that has really hit home. I’ve spoken little. I’ve tried to read to take my mind off it (that was never going to work, was it?!) So strange, in fact, was my mood that I even avoided the Jamesons! Shock! Horror!
But as of now I’m putting all that behind me (no, really, I am!) Tomorrow the eight days of celebration and “events” start here, on Twitter and on Facebook to mark the launch of If I Never. Don’t expect dog acts, drag acts or pyrotechnics. Although all those things are well within my powers (my legs look great in heels… when I remember to shave them), it’s going to be a much more relaxed affair — competition, podcasts and, more than likely, much larking about. I want to enjoy it as well, so I’m determined not to be too anal about it. It’ll happen how it happens, and I’m sure a fair amount of plonk will be consumed in a good many locations — virtual and otherwise — around the country. In fact, I demand it! Drink, toast my absolutely spiffing novel, fall down and then take a photo of your inebriated self drooling all over If I Never. The best photos will be featured on my website
So, if you’ve already ordered If I Never — or are about to dash out and buy a copy — I sincerely hope you at least find something to enjoy in it. It was a world I enjoyed inhabiting during the ten months it took to write, and even the rougher characters are very special to me. I hope you find in them what I found.
A sample chapter of If I Never can be read here.
To buy your copy of If I Never, please click here.
© 2009 Gary William Murning