Dear Mr Thompson,
It has come to my attention that you may very shortly be on the lookout for one or two new television/radio presenters.
Without wishing to be mercenary, I would just like to inform you that I am available.
Yours sincerely,
Gary — who is very talented and far better looking than Brand or Wossy. (I know because me mam said so.)
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Morning Gary, how are you!?
Nice letter to Mr Thompson, I’m sure your BBC contract offer will be in the post shortly:-)
LOL — Morning, Kev! Nice to see you here — a pleasant surprise, indeed. How are you keeping, mate?
If I see one more ‘story’ about this ‘scandal’ i’m going to climb a clocktower and take out the town.
Allow me to speak for the vast majority of people on Planet Earth:
No one gives a fuck.
Yours Sincerely,
The Human Race
David, mate, bearing in mind it’s probably going to run for a day or two, yet, can I just ask… which clocktower and which town?